but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
