Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
