69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
