I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
