I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
