Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
