what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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