sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
