You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
