You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
