Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
