I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
