Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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