i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
