I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
