I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
