if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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