I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
