I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
