$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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