omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
