hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
