she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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