He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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