I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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