Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
