Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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