thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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