I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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