haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
