We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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