lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
