Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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