Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
