I am in a vortex of obligation.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
