I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
