She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
