Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
