Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
