if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
