do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
