The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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