They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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