I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
