just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
