She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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