I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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