Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
