She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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