Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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