nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
